Not to be confused with a stress less life, I just want to share how I went from daily stress to a much less trying every-once-in-a-while stress.
Honestly, I get it. Life is hard. You’ve got so much to do today, and so much to worry about for tomorrow or next week or maybe even months from now. There’s so much to handle, the stress really weighs down on your health. Even more important (in my opinion at least), it weighs down on your happiness. Happiness is central to all that you do, and all that you feel. Happiness is something I value above all else, and I personally don’t see how people don’t understand how important it is. If you’re not happy, then nothing else matters.
I understand that it’s hard to be happy under certain circumstances, but if you do nothing else in life, no matter how hard it is, you have GOT to try. Make an honest effort to smile in the darkest times in your life. Make an honest effort not to let the world affect you even when you’re headed for a breakdown. See how fast your life starts turning around and how much more often you find yourself enjoying it.
Now maybe you’re finding yourself reading my ridiculously hippie “be happy” speech and wondering thoughtfully, “How do I just BE happy?” Let me help you with that. I understand that it’s really not that easy to just BE happy. I think that in all of the hustle and bustle of this new age life, people have forgotten what it’s like to just stop. Breathe. Just “be” for a little while. I also think that right now many of you are wondering if I’m some type of free spirit hippie with her head in the clouds all. The. Time. Well, I’m certainly the hippie type. I enjoy good vibes, lots of laughs, and generally making life a good time. But I promise you, you do not have to be all hippie-like to be happy. In fact, it’s really not that complicated. During my pursuit of happiness, these are the things that helped me the most:
1) Forgive and Forget
This one is very VERY hard for me, but I’m working on it. One of the most important lessons my mother ever taught me was that the most important part of forgiveness is that it allows you to move on. You have to forgive others for yourself, not for them. Maybe they’ll think you’re doing it because you think they honestly deserve it and have no reason to feel guilty any more, but even if you feel like they’ll never deserve it, forgive them. If you don’t, you’ll spend an eternity dwelling over what happened, making yourself miserable over something they may not even be sorry for. And hey, if you’re making yourself miserable over it, then obviously there’s not much room for happiness in your life. Forgive those that have trespassed against you, move on with your life. You deserve it.
2) Meditate
I can practically feel the eyes rolling now. It’s boring. It’s ridiculous. It’s stereotypical. But you know what? It works. Seriously. I have never felt so relaxed than after I started meditating. Start off simple, breathe in breathe out, for maybe five minutes the first time you do it. Maybe two if you’re more hyperactive. Work your way up to longer sessions. It makes it easier to concentrate if you visualize with the inhale and exhale of breath (like ocean waves). Also it’s so much harder to keep your concentration if you’re trying too hard to keep it. If your mind wanders, let it. Don’t force complete relaxation. That’s not relaxing. But please just trust me, this stuff works.
3) Have Some Confidence
Insecurity is another state of mind that just leads to misery. You don’t feel good enough. You don’t feel attractive enough. You don’t feel smart enough. You’re just not enough. But let me say this, you are enough. Always. And you need to believe it. There are two key ways to be confident in life. The first one is simply not to care one single bit what anyone else in this world thinks of you. Now that, that is freaking hard. It takes a long time to build up to that kind of confidence, so here’s the second one. Walk in to every room believing that everyone present already likes you for who you are. It alleviates the pressure to make yourself liked. Plus, you can act like yourself and not have to put up any kind of fake front.
4) Be Good to Yourself
If you aren’t good to yourself, then you better believe other people aren’t going to be good to you either. It’s a human tendency to treat a person badly if that person seems to think it is fine for himself or herself to be treated that way. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Others will follow suit.
5) Live in the Moment
It’s perfectly okay to forget about everything else and just live for the good times you’re having right there and then. Enjoying life is an essential part of the happiness people so desire.
So there you have it. All of these little pieces of advice are the tools I used to live with less stress and a lot more happiness. Hopefully you’ll employ some of these tactics in your own life and find yourself enjoying each day a little more. And remember, you don’t have to be a hippie to enjoy life and be happy. You just have to be happy.